When Your Worst Critic is You

We can all agree that critics suck, but what do you do when your worst critic is you? You are the only person you can never get away from. Because as the saying goes, wherever you go there you are. And there’s another saying that states that we are all our own worst critic (unless you’re a narcissist). Therein lies the dynamics for a wicked downward spiral for many artists.

First of all, how do you determine if you are your own worst critic?

You can always get away from outside critics, but what do you do when the worst critic is you? (Photo Credit: 123RF.com Image ID : 75664374 Copyright: Alexander Cherepanov)

There are a couple of questions you could ask yourself. Are you holding back from posting your work on social media or in other avenues? If so, your inner critic could be seeding your mind with self-doubt, telling you that your work isn’t good enough. If this is the case, I encourage you to take a look around at what other people are posting. There are literally all levels of artistic genres and skill. There’s no reason why you can’t add yours to the mix.

The other thing you should consider is whether you’re the only one cutting your work to shreds when everyone else is giving praises. That alone speaks volumes and should tell you something.

Self-doubt is not unusual.

I would venture to say that many of us deal with some amount of apprehension regularly when it comes to making our work public. But for it to overwhelm you and prevent you from putting yourself out there is where the problem lies and could hold you back from claiming your spot in the art world, humble though it may be. I will list another saying, this one by Dr. Wayne Dyer, who said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.” Or in our case, with our art still in us.

Art is a very special form of expression that most people don’t explore simply for the reason that they feel they can’t or don’t have the skill. The truth is, skill isn’t necessary for expression. But you at least have the inclination to do so. This is where most get stuck.

One of the toughest things to do is silencing your own worst critic…you.

Your own worst critic has a name…ego. Part of the ego’s job is to protect you from embarrassing yourself. It’s quite proficient at getting you to avoid humiliation. This is why your ego goes into self-critical mode. If it can get you to limit your exposure to the world, it will limit any imagined outside criticism. Pay attention to the imagined part. Your ego is famous for projecting things that usually never happen. All of the what-ifs. This in turn blocks you from ever realizing what your true potential is. And, in the most tragic cases, it leads far too many people to living a life of regret and dying with their art still inside them.

It’s quite common for people (artists especially) to think they’re not good enough. One thing to keep in mind, is that our insecurity is not natural. It’s a learned behavior. In the child development classes I took, it became very clear that it’s something that develops in early elementary years. Young children are initially uninhibited. But comments made both by adults and by classmates begin to cultivate insecurity in almost all children. This is when they begin to learn about peer pressure. Kids will stop dancing with abandon or drawing without caring that their artwork is accurate or not for fear of what others will think. Seeds of doubt that were sown at such a young age have developed into a giant oak tree of criticism as adults. But that tree, your worst critic, can be cut down to something more manageable.

This may take a lot of self-talk and patience.

How you speak to yourself is important. (Photo Credit: 123RF.com Image ID: 32258430 Copyright: Luca Bertolli)

In other words, your ego, your worst critic, is very much like its own entity that you can have a conversation with. When you feel your ego being critical, interrupt it. It’s one thing to be given constructive criticism. By its nature, it’s constructive. You can build upon it and improve. But what we normally do is far from constructive. We tear ourselves down and it becomes very difficult to build upon that.

So, interrupt that destructive self-criticism and demand something more constructive. You might feel foolish talking to yourself out loud. So, I encourage you to have a very forceful internal conversation with your critic or write things out in a journal. If your critic starts to rant, put your mental foot down and tell it to stop. Tell it you don’t want to hear from it until it can give you something constructive. It might seem silly and you’ll probably feel pretty foolish doing it. But be diligent. Making it a habit of interrupting this process will gradually start forming new habits. Namely, being nicer to yourself!

Undoing the habits of a lifetime takes a lot of time and a lot of hard work. It’s okay to acknowledge the things you need to work on. It’s also okay to try new things (another thing your ego hates). Your ego will ask, “What if you screw it all up?” Answer it by saying, “Yea, I probably will and that’s okay. Who cares? Nobody’s perfect and I’m a work in progress.”

Be aware. Pay attention to the way your worst critic works. Be persistent in catching it in the act and teaching it some manners. Don’t give up. You’ve got this.

Enjoy the freedom and fun that it brings.

Further Reading:

Not Good Enough Mentality

When Your Work is Criticized