Words Matter

Don’t Cripple Yourself or Others!

Sometimes I think we are all guilty of forgetting how much words matter, both the words we use with others as well as those we use for ourselves. Think about it. How many times have you said something to someone without thinking. Perhaps you stuck your foot in your mouth and immediately regretted it. Or perhaps your words were completely and totally intentional. On the other side of that coin, how many times have you thought awful, critical, self-deprecating things about yourself?

More often than not we’re not even conscious of how many times we talk about ourselves negatively. For most of us, that constant stream of nearly subconscious thought is littered with talk about how we don’t measure up, how we’re too fat, or not pretty enough, not good enough, not talented enough, etc. We make a small mistake and our inner voice, our ego is more than happy to criticize. We’re stupid, or clumsy, or inept. We think those things constantly and on some level…believe them. Words matter.

Our Egos Tend to Work Overtime

Not too long ago, I posted an article called How to Silence the Inner Self Critic. In it I discussed how our egos tend to work overtime, looking for every opportunity to criticize. As artists, we tear down our own artwork. We compare our art to the works of others. We doubt our abilities. We belittle every accomplishment no matter how big or small and find the most insignificant things wrong with them. But I also pointed out how we can use that inner critical voice to our advantage. You can train yourself to have constructive discussions with that inner voice, your ego. You can teach it to offer constructive criticism, which allows you as a person and as an artist to grow, rather than wither. Words matter.

Isn’t It Time For a Break?

In another post, Not Good Enough Mentality, I touched on how we all have bouts of this and again, we have the ego to thank for it. But there are ways, to branch out and put your work out there into the mix of social media. There are ways to seek the opinions of your peers, no matter what level you think you’re at currently. No, I’m in no way saying that there aren’t thoughtless people out there. But most are willing to be encouraging. Even so, learning how to grow a thick skin is not without its merits. And in these same steps, it also puts you into the spot where you can offer your comments for other artists seeking feedback as well. How will you handle being in the role of the art critic? Will you slice and dice and rip their work to shreds? Or will you have words of encouragement and constructive criticism? Be careful. It’s tempting. Words matter.

Mother Always Said…

On all of my social media accounts, I’ve been followed and had lovely comments posted about my works. In each case, if it’s someone I don’t recognize, I click on their profiles and do the courtesy of checking out their work, if they’re artists. Some of them are really good and obviously accomplished artists. For others, it’s quite obvious that they’re just starting off in art school or are very young in age. I pay attention to them all, not just those at my level or better. I try to drop an encouraging word or like the artwork they post as often as possible. If the budding young artist follows me, I will generally follow them back. Why not? I know what a boost it is for them and I also get to watch them grow as their skills improve with time. It takes nothing away from me, very little time at all. And in doing so, hopefully I’ve encouraged someone to continue working towards their passion. A simple “Nice job!” can go a long way. And if I don’t necessarily think so, then maybe I just don’t comment. Do you remember how your mother always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? Words matter.

Stop and Think Before You Speak!

I think the problem really lies in how humans speak like they’re on autopilot. They don’t stop and think before speaking. They develop a diarrhea of the mouth. So much negativity, so many hurt feelings and crushed spirits can be avoided if we just pause for 10 seconds and think before we speak. And that includes how we speak internally about ourselves! Become conscious about what you think about yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, you’ll have very little of it for anyone else. If you don’t have love for yourself, how can you have pure love for anyone else (intimate love or otherwise)?

Words Matter – Kate O’Brien

Kate O’Brien left behind a thriving career as a recognized national leader in her field as a registered nurse in order to pursue a passion of empowering millions globally by combining heart and strategy. In the powerful video above, Words Matter, she discusses how very damaging words can be…both words spoken to others and the words spoken within our minds. Before you’re so quick to criticize others, ask yourself if you truly know where they’re coming from, if you know their circumstances that might cause them to do or to be whatever it is that you’re itching to be critical of. Do you know why that person wasn’t paying attention and accidentally bumped into you? Maybe they were just being careless. It happens. But maybe their mind was focused somewhere else…like on a parent, or child, or another loved one who just died. Maybe they just lost their job and they’re facing homelessness. Maybe they just received a diagnosis of some dread disease. Do you know? Can you be sure? If you knew, would you still be so quick to rip them to shreds? Words matter.

How You Think of Yourself Matters

The next time you catch yourself being unkind to yourself in thought, ask yourself why. We were each born into different circumstances, each of us handed a different set of cards. Most of us are doing the best that we can with what we have. Those circumstances don’t dictate who we are, but they can contribute to how we learn to handle life, stress, success, tragedy. Before you judge and criticize, try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Instead of judging and criticizing yourself, look in the mirror, look into your eyes, and don’t look away. Hold your own gaze and say out loud, “I love you. I am enough. There’s always room for improvement, but as of this very minute, I am enough.”

Words matter.

Further Reading:

How to Silence the Inner Art Critic

Not Good Enough Mentality